Taking Silence as a No

When you hear crickets, what do you do? Do you assume it’s a yes? Do you assume it’s a no? Do you take it as license to do whatever you want to do until they say no?

Shortcuts for avoiding #metoo and unnecessary drama

Silence = no
Maybe = go with no unless you want to invite drama and regret.
Sure =  they are going along with what they think you want. Is that what you want?
OK = get curious and ask questions about what they want before taking action.

Why? Afterall, they didn’t say no. Maybe they really wanted it but just didn’t have the confidence to say yes?


In both cuddle therapy and relationship coaching, I teach my clients that silence = no.


You risk overrunning a boundary and inviting regret, abuse, and injury when you presume that silence or even a lukewarm “sure” means you have consent.

No is powerful. And sexy.

Allowing someone the space to find their authentic voice, their yes, their enthusiasm helps them trust themselves, their own bodies, and me (or you, if they are with you!) Your relationships will thrive when you:

  • don’t presume to know what they want,
  • resist imposing what you imagine is good for them,
  • don’t try to get away with something just because you can

Want to learn how to do this for real? Jerk-Proof Your Relationships can give you the skills to give and receive NO in ways that enhance all your relationships. Comment below or DM me if you’re ready to take consent, and all your relationships, to the next level.

Schedule a time to chat and let’s see how you can make NO a powerful force for pleasure and satisfaction in your relationship.

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