Too much. Not enough. Many of us ping-pong between these. Or even feel like we’re both at the same time. How can we be both too much and not enough? It’s scarcity.
Scarcity is messing with your relationships even if you don’t know it.
What happens when you complete the phrase “never ____ enough”?
- Never good enough?
- Never loved enough?
- Never smart enough?
- Never rich enough?
- Never beautiful enough?
How about when you complete the phrase “I’m too ____”?
- Too needy
- Too emotional
- Too fat
- Too intense
- Too dense
Can you resonate?
We live in a culture of scarcity. Like fish can’t see the water they swim in, we in the developed world and particularly the United States, live in a culture of scarcity but rarely think about how scarcity impacts our lives and relationships. We don’t see the scarcity that permeates our relationships and our choices.
In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown speaks beautifully about how scarcity follows fear.
When we are afraid, we are more susceptible to seeing the world (and all our relationships) through the lens of not enough.
Then we try to grab more for ourselves in order to be safer. Grabbing for more often backfires and leads us right back to scarcity and fear.
Fear isn’t necessarily bad. It’s a great teacher. But too much fear and we overload our capacity to learn from it. Our culture is in an overload of fear right now. COVID-19 is a big contributor to that fear. Political unrest, riots, white supremacy, calls for social justice, and lack of confidence that the upcoming election will create solutions all add to fear. Uncertainty about your work or your children’s schooling or what you should do to make a difference, all add to fear.
To cope, we are leaning more heavily on our close relationships.
We want our friends and partners to hold us. We want them to reassure us. We want them to forgive us our fear, short tempers, restless sleep, and increased need of their positivity. And they want the same from us. It’s wearing us all down.
Where do we recharge?
Where do we learn the skills to hold each other through tough times?
Where do we have safe places to vent, fall apart, and come back together stronger than before?
Jerk-Proof Your Relationships is one such place.
It’s a dynamic course that teaches you skills to be resilient, stable, and compassionate as well as happy, fulfilled, and loved. It’s also a place to meet other people who are committed to their personal growth, to being kind and curious in their relationships, and to growing alongside you. It’s a place where you are welcome exactly as you are and exactly as you are not.
The skills you’ll learn are not just for romantic partnership. They are the foundations for all relationships. Which means they’ll help you rock your romance too.
Do you want that? Do you want to be resilient, fulfilled, and happy? Sign up for class and dive right in. If you’ve got questions, reach out and let’s connect. Text me 720-340-2246 or pick a time to talk at https://www.meetingbird.com/I/KassandraBrown/consult.